The false assumption of scarcity

What if there is enough for everyone?

We seem to be wired to make the assumption of scarcity – that there is not enough for everyone, so we have to make sure that we get our share.  The primitive part of our brain experiences some level of fear and we clench.  Life becomes a game of musical chairs – don’t let go of the seat you’ve got until you’re sure that the next one is open and you’re sure that you can beat Aunt Sally to it.

What if life is less like musical chairs and more like the rest of the party?

There are lots of chairs and lots of people.  True, the supply of chairs is finite – and the number of chairs may be less than the number of guests at the party.  But when we’re not worried about being able to find a chair, there are always enough to go around because at any given moment some of the party guests don’t want to sit.  They’re at the buffet, standing to talk, dancing or something else.  Everyone relaxes and no one worries about chairs.

This idea first struck a chord with me in the context of relationships.  Many make the assumption that there is a “right one” out there for them.  Or that there aren’t enough potential partners to go around.  As a result, according to Alison Armstrong, we usually approach dating as a “sourcing problem”.  We’ve got to find a partner who will accept us and we fear that we may not find one.  The fear is insidious and we pretzel ourselves (Alison’s term) to try to fit a potential partner because, like a musical chair, we don’t want to let go for fear we may not find another.  We hide and distort ourselves to match our projection of what we think our partner may want.  What a miserable way to build our most intimate relationships.

What if it’s not a sourcing problem, but rather a sorting problem?  There are many potential partners and the challenge is to sort through all of the possibilities to find one that fits our deepest, truest self.  That mindset induces completely different searching behavior.  Rather than hide and distort, we put ourselves out there with as much clarity as we can so that we attract those that will want to be with the person we really are and don’t attract those who are looking for someone else.  Another favorite author of mine, Robert Glover, calls this “getting to rejection quickly” – which looks our fear in the face and moves toward it and through it.  Once we understand that rejection doesn’t kill us, that in fact it is a good thing when we can sort a potential partner that does align with who we really are into the “NOT” category – it frees us to move on more quickly to find a better fit.  It’s more efficient, but even more importantly – it’s more authentic and creates a much better foundation for relationship.

Stepping back and looking at the impact of scarcity thinking on a broader scale, we see in our global economy today the evidence of the cumulative impact of millions of people locked in the fear of not having enough.  When consumers don’t have confidence, it becomes a self-fulfilling fear.  Everyone clenches, holds onto what they’ve got and the economy flows much less efficiently.  Corporations sit on cash rather than hire new employees so there are fewer jobs available, unemployment statistics rise, leading to more fear, which leads to less spending from everyone which leads to less business for the corporations.  A vicious, contracting circle.

We are confusing a finite supply with scarcity?  There are, of course, a finite supply of jobs for instance.  But does that mean that jobs are scarce?  I only need one job.  There are, in fact, many jobs out there that I could do.  So maybe the jobs problem is also really a “sorting problem“.

What if a job seeker could let go of the fear of not finding a job and rather than pretzel themselves to fit what they think a potential hiring manager may be looking for, they could just put themselves out there with a much clarity and passion as possible?

What if someone who is feeling stuck in a job they don’t really like had confidence that they could find another – and let go of their chair (the one that’s hurting their back) making it available for someone else for whom it is a much better fit?  Wouldn’t that lead to more and more people in jobs they love and a much more efficient flow of people self allocating into the jobs where they can be most productive?

What if finite does not equal scarce?

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